For more information about the author, click to view their website: Cornwall Manor
If you can think ahead and have intentional conversations
with loved ones, your communication and closeness will only improve. Maybe
you’d like to talk to your aging parents about some important topics like
finances and medical decisions, but you’re not sure where to begin.
Here’s how to get started so your conversations with your
parents can be productive and helpful.
How to Talk to Aging Parents About Their Future
Bringing up these sensitive topics as a
shared conversation shows your parents that you’re ready to hear
their thoughts. If you don’t know what your parents are thinking, how can you
help them plan? Let your parents know the conversation is about them and their
wishes for the future. Give your parents as much agency as possible.
Resist any temptation to jump ahead and put a plan together
yourself. Simply guide the conversation with questions that allow your parents
to express their thoughts, feelings, concerns and plans. You should also
share what’s important to you, but start by listening to understand the
values, goals and needs of your parents. This shift of perspective is
essential.
Your parents have probably heard the dreaded phrase of
“parenting your parent” so there may well be a natural suspicion of your
attempts to broach subjects they deem personal or private. It’s your job to
reassure them that you want to be on the same team.
You want to be a partner in their best
future. Your goal is to collaborate with them to make sure that their
needs, beliefs, and values are upheld. Reassure them that as children of aging
parents, you are never attempting to switch roles.
Topics for Seniors to Discuss
There’s a lot you should cover with aging parents. However,
you should frame these conversations around the most important considerations
for aging older adults: security, independence, freedom, peace of mind, family,
friends, and choices.
Be sure to ask, “What is most important to you?” This
will help you find out whether your concerns are the same as your parents. Let
them know what you have identified and ask if they ever think of those same
concerns or if they have identified others. Have they considered the same
things you have, or are they thinking in a different direction?
Here are few topic areas that are important to discuss
with your parents:
Legal Issues:
At the very least your parent should have an up-to-date
will, a durable power of attorney for both legal and healthcare decisions, and
a living will. You should know where these documents are, and that your
parent’s physician has a copy of documents relating to healthcare. While most
documents can be drawn up on one’s own, it’s a good idea to see an attorney
specializing in elder law who can advise you on your particular situation.
Estate Plan:
If their plan is to pass property to family members,
have they talked to a financial advisor about the best way to do that? How can
their assets help provide for their care in case of
a potential decline in health or incapacity? It is important to speak
with a professional and ensure that it is reviewed regularly.
Medical Expenses:
Medicare doesn’t pay for long-term care, and an annual
nursing home bill can easily reach over $100,000. What is your plan for paying
for long-term care, should the need arise? Does your parent have long-term care
insurance? Is he or she near the level for Medicaid benefits? Simplify your
parent’s finances as much as possible through direct deposit and automatic bill
pay.
Medical Care:
Does your parents have one doctor who can coordinate care?
It’s important to have someone who is the “captain of the ship.” Do your
parents keep a list of every medication they take? Take a written list of all
medications and supplements to every medical appointment.
Housing:
This can be a tough conversation to have, especially with a
healthy parent. Find out where your parent would like to live if she had to
leave her current home. Do your parents want to stay in their current home as
long as possible? Or are they considering “downsizing” or moving to a
senior living community?
Whatever their choices, help them find options. What home
care services are available? What options do they have for personal care? Be
careful not to make any promises you can’t keep.
Home Modifications:
Is your parents’ home keeping up with their needs? What
repairs and modifications could make their house, apartment or condominium
safer and more convenient? From non-slip stair coverings to walk-in shower
stalls, find out how to improve their home so they can safely live
independently.
Wellness:
Do your parents have a plan to stay active? Study after
study shows that regular physical activity is the most important contributor to
healthy aging. No matter what a person’s condition, adding exercise is of
benefit. Meaningful social interaction is also vital to overall
health for people of every age. Recent studies show that older adults who
socialize, not only with family members, but also with other groups, have
better emotional, intellectual and physical health.
Home Safety:
Many older adults are reluctant to discuss their risk or
experiences with falls. But did you know that fall protection is actually an
important part of planning for the future? Falls are one of the leading causes
of incapacity and one risk factor that we can take proactive steps to avoid.
Conduct regular home safety inspections to identify areas of high risk in the
home, and make changes where necessary.
End-of-Life Care:
This is a conversation no one wants to have, but it’s so
important. If your parent says he would want you to “pull the plug,” make sure
you know what that means and in what situations it applies. While talking about
end-of-life care is hard, it’s also rewarding. It can bring a new level of
trust and intimacy into your relationship.
These topics are intended to provide a framework for people
who would like to speak to their aging parents about planning for the future.
If the “teamwork” aspect isn’t working as well as you’d like, consider adding
outside members to the team. Perhaps a known healthcare provider, physician,
financial planner or even a trusted family friend can provide valuable help and
guidance.
Start the Conversation
The best advice is to plan carefully and think through such
conversations so that they are as positive and productive as possible. Write
down what you think needs to be discussed so you don’t forget anything.
Try not to approach this important opportunity as “The
Conversation,” but as an ongoing series of conversations. Address one issue at
a time rather than trying to resolve everything at once. It is less
intimidating that way. If you start small, you are more likely to start. And
your parent will be more likely to participate.
If you still feel unsure about starting this type of
discussion with your parents, run your ideas past other family members or a
professional. You may want to consider getting a neutral party involved.
Professionals such as physicians, case managers, social workers, lawyers or
financial advisers can help you and your parents navigate aging.
You might also consider a social worker, geriatric care
manager or representative from a local senior center or retirement community.
Their expertise and experience can be invaluable in helping support you and
your parents find solutions to your challenges and provide a positive path to
all the places life can go.
Choosing a senior living community is an important decision. For some older adults, the move may be driven by a desire for a more active social lifestyle, while others may be looking for additional support with everyday tasks or healthcare needs.The right senior living option today may not necessarily be the right option several years from now. As we age, our health, mobility, interests, and care needs can change. Planning for those changes can make the transition easier and help seniors maintain a fulfilling lifestyle.Understanding the different types of senior living and thinking about both current and future needs can help seniors and their families make a confident decision.Start by Assessing Your Current NeedsBefore visiting senior living communities, take some time to consider what kind of support is needed right now.Ask questions such as: Is the senior comfortable managing a home independently? Are household chores becoming difficult? Is transportation becoming a concern? Can the senior safely prepare meals? Is assistance needed with bathing, dressing, or medications? Are there concerns about falls or mobility? Would more opportunities for social interaction be beneficial? Are there memory or cognitive concerns? Being honest about current challenges can help narrow down the most appropriate options.Consider Independence and LifestyleNot every senior who moves into a retirement community needs daily assistance. Some older adults choose community living because they want fewer household responsibilities, more social opportunities, or convenient access to activities and amenities.Independent or residential living may be a good choice for seniors who can manage most daily activities on their own but would enjoy: Maintenance-free living Dining options Fitness and wellness activities Social events Clubs and interest groups Educational programs Outdoor spaces Opportunities to meet new friends The goal is to find a lifestyle that supports independence while providing opportunities to remain active and engaged.Understand Personal Care and Assisted LivingAs everyday tasks become more difficult, a senior may benefit from personal care or assisted living.These settings can provide assistance with activities of daily living while still encouraging residents to remain as independent as possible.Depending on the community, support may include assistance with: Bathing and grooming Dressing Personal hygiene Medication management Mobility Meals Other everyday activities Personal care may be appropriate when a senior needs more support than independent living can provide but does not require the intensive medical care offered in a healthcare setting.Know When Memory Care May Be AppropriateFor seniors living with Alzheimer's disease or another form of dementia, specialized memory care may be an important consideration.Memory care communities are designed around the unique needs of individuals experiencing cognitive changes. They may offer structured routines, specialized activities, secure environments, and staff trained to support people living with dementia.Signs that a senior may need more specialized memory support can include: Increasing confusion Getting lost or wandering Difficulty managing medications Problems with everyday tasks Significant changes in behavior Increased safety concerns Difficulty living independently Families should discuss concerns with appropriate healthcare professionals when determining what level of support is needed.Rehabilitation May Be Part of the JourneySenior living needs can change temporarily as well as permanently.An illness, surgery, injury, or hospital stay may leave an older adult needing rehabilitation before returning home or resuming their previous routine.Rehabilitation may include physical, occupational, or speech therapy depending on the individual's needs.When evaluating a senior living community, families may want to ask whether rehabilitation services are available and how the community supports residents following an illness or injury.Think About Future Healthcare NeedsOne of the most important questions to ask is not simply, "What do I need today?" but also, "What might I need in the future?"A senior may currently live independently but eventually need personal care, memory support, rehabilitation, or skilled healthcare.A community that offers multiple levels of care can provide greater flexibility if needs change. Instead of having to search for a completely new community during a stressful time, residents may have access to additional services within the same organization or campus.This type of planning can be particularly valuable for couples whose care needs may develop at different rates.Look at the Community's Approach to IndependenceThe amount of support provided is important, but so is the way that support is provided.A good senior living community should recognize that residents are individuals with their own preferences, routines, interests, and goals.Ask how the community encourages residents to remain independent. Find out whether residents have choices about meals, activities, schedules, and social opportunities.The goal should be to provide assistance where it is needed without taking away opportunities for independence.Consider Social and Emotional Well-BeingSenior living is about much more than housing and healthcare. Social and emotional well-being are important parts of quality of life.Look for a community that offers opportunities for residents to build relationships and remain involved.Activities may include: Exercise and fitness programs Arts and crafts Music Educational classes Games Group outings Volunteer opportunities Clubs Social gatherings Community events During a visit, pay attention to whether residents appear engaged and whether the atmosphere feels welcoming.Evaluate Dining and NutritionGood nutrition becomes increasingly important as we age. However, shopping for groceries, preparing meals, and cleaning up can become challenging for some seniors.When touring a community, ask about dining options and how meals are handled.Consider: Variety of menu choices Nutritional options Special dietary needs Dining schedules Private or communal dining Snacks and beverages Flexibility for individual preferences Mealtimes can also provide valuable opportunities for social connection.Think About LocationLocation is another important consideration. A community that is close to family and friends may make it easier for loved ones to visit regularly.Consider proximity to: Family members Friends Healthcare providers Shopping Places of worship Favorite restaurants Cultural and recreational activities A convenient location can help seniors maintain connections with the people and places that are important to them.Tour More Than One CommunityPhotos and websites can provide useful information, but nothing replaces an in-person visit.When touring a senior living community, pay attention to the overall atmosphere. Are residents interacting with one another? Do staff members seem friendly and attentive? Are common areas clean and comfortable?Ask questions and take notes. If possible, visit at different times of day to get a better understanding of the community's daily routine.Ask About Costs and ContractsFinancial considerations are an essential part of choosing senior living.Costs can vary significantly depending on the type of residence, services, care level, and contract structure.Before making a decision, ask for a clear explanation of: Entrance fees, if applicable Monthly fees Additional care costs Dining costs Transportation Healthcare services Therapy or rehabilitation What happens if care needs increase What services are included in the agreement Understanding the financial commitment ahead of time can help prevent surprises later.Consider a Community With Multiple Levels of CareFor many families, a community that offers several levels of living and care can provide an added sense of security.A senior may enter as an independent resident and later receive additional assistance if needed. Having different services available in one community can make future transitions more manageable.This is one reason Continuing Care Retirement Communities, also known as Life Plan Communities, can be attractive to seniors who want to plan for changing needs while maintaining a familiar home and community environment.Make the Decision With the Senior, Not Just For ThemPerhaps the most important part of choosing senior living is making sure the older adult has a voice in the decision.Whenever possible, involve the senior in conversations, tours, financial planning, and decisions about lifestyle and care.Discuss what matters most to them. They may prioritize privacy, activities, dining, location, gardening, fitness, friendships, or being close to family.A senior living decision is much more likely to feel positive when the individual feels heard and involved.Planning Today Can Make Tomorrow EasierChoosing the right senior living option doesn't have to mean predicting exactly what will happen in the future. Instead, it means understanding current needs, considering potential changes, and choosing an environment that provides appropriate options.The right community can offer independence, social connection, wellness opportunities, and access to additional support when it is needed.Whether you're considering independent living, personal care, memory care, rehabilitation, or a community offering multiple levels of care, taking time to research your choices can help you and your family feel more prepared.Landis Homes provides a range of living and care options designed to support older adults through different stages of life. Exploring senior living options early allows you to focus not only on where you may live today, but also on how a community can support your changing needs in the years ahead.
Planning for the future is an important part of enjoying retirement. While many older adults begin retirement in good health and with an active lifestyle, their needs may change over time. One of the challenges of planning ahead is determining where to live and how future care needs will be addressed.A Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC), also known as a Life Plan Community, can provide a solution by offering multiple levels of senior living and care within one community.Rather than having to move to a completely different location if care needs change, residents may have access to additional services and care options within the same community. This can provide convenience, flexibility, and peace of mind for seniors and their families.What Is a Continuing Care Retirement Community?A Continuing Care Retirement Community is a senior living community designed to provide different levels of housing and care as a person's needs change.Depending on the community, services may include: Independent or residential living Personal care or assisted living Memory or dementia care Skilled nursing or healthcare Rehabilitation and therapy Wellness and supportive services The specific services and financial arrangements vary from one community to another. However, the overall goal is to create a setting where seniors can remain part of the same community while receiving an appropriate level of support as their circumstances change.Plan for the Future While Enjoying Retirement TodayOne of the biggest advantages of a CCRC is the ability to plan.Many seniors move into a continuing care community while they are still independent and active. They can enjoy the lifestyle, amenities, activities, and social opportunities available today while knowing that additional care options may be available in the future.Planning ahead can be less stressful than waiting until a health crisis or urgent care need forces a family to make a quick decision.Maintain IndependenceMoving into a CCRC does not necessarily mean giving up independence.Many residents begin in independent or residential living, where they maintain their own routines and make decisions about how they spend their time.They may enjoy: Private residences or apartments Dining options Fitness and wellness programs Social activities Clubs and interest groups Educational opportunities Outdoor spaces Community events Residents can remain active and independent while having additional resources available when they need them.Access to Multiple Levels of CareAnother significant benefit is having access to different types of care within the same overall community.A senior may be completely independent when they move in but eventually require additional assistance with everyday activities. Later, they may need rehabilitation or a higher level of healthcare.Having these options available within one community can make transitions easier for both residents and their families.It is important to understand that not every CCRC offers the same services, so prospective residents should ask about the levels of care available and how transitions between them are handled.Less Need for Major MovesMoving can be physically and emotionally challenging, particularly for older adults.A change in health may sometimes require a senior to leave a longtime home and relocate to an assisted living community, memory care facility, or skilled nursing facility.A continuing care community can reduce the likelihood of needing to relocate to an entirely different organization when care needs change.Remaining within a familiar community may allow seniors to maintain relationships with friends, staff, and neighbors even if their living arrangements or level of care changes.Opportunities for Social ConnectionSocial connection is an important part of a fulfilling retirement. Living in a community with other older adults can create many opportunities to meet people and develop friendships.Residents may participate in: Group meals Fitness activities Arts and crafts Educational programs Games and social gatherings Clubs and special-interest groups Volunteer opportunities Community events Having activities and social opportunities close to home can make it easier for residents to remain engaged and active.Wellness Can Be Part of Everyday LifeMany continuing care communities emphasize wellness rather than focusing only on healthcare.Wellness programs may include exercise, fitness classes, educational programs, recreational activities, nutrition resources, and opportunities for social engagement.This holistic approach recognizes that healthy aging involves more than medical care. Physical activity, mental stimulation, meaningful relationships, and enjoyable experiences can all contribute to quality of life.Peace of Mind for FamiliesA CCRC can provide peace of mind not only for residents but also for their families.Adult children often worry about what will happen if their parents' needs change. Knowing that additional care options may be available within the community can make future planning easier.Families can also feel more comfortable knowing that their loved one is living in an environment designed specifically for older adults and that additional support may be available if circumstances change.Couples May Have More OptionsCouples sometimes face a difficult situation when one spouse needs more care than the other.In a continuing care community, there may be opportunities for spouses to remain connected even if their individual care needs are different.One spouse may continue living independently while the other receives additional assistance or healthcare. The specific options depend on the community, but having multiple levels of care in one location can provide greater flexibility for couples.A Sense of CommunityA continuing care retirement community can offer more than housing and healthcare. It can become a place where residents build relationships and develop a sense of belonging.Neighbors may become friends. Staff members may become familiar faces. Shared meals, activities, celebrations, and everyday interactions can create a strong community atmosphere.For many seniors, this sense of connection is one of the most meaningful aspects of community living.What Should You Consider When Choosing a CCRC?Not every continuing care retirement community is the same. Before making a decision, seniors and their families should take time to learn about the community and its services.Consider asking: What levels of living and care are available? What services are included in the monthly fees? How are additional care services priced? What types of residences are available? What happens if a resident's care needs change? Are healthcare and rehabilitation services available? What activities and wellness programs are offered? What dining options are available? How does the community support social engagement? What financial arrangements and contracts are offered? Taking a tour and talking with residents can also provide valuable insight into what daily life is really like.Planning Ahead Can Make the Future EasierOne of the most important advantages of a Continuing Care Retirement Community is the opportunity to think about tomorrow while still enjoying today.Seniors can choose a community that fits their current lifestyle while considering how their needs may change over time. Instead of making decisions during a crisis, families can have a plan in place before additional care becomes necessary.A CCRC can provide a combination of independence, community, wellness, and access to different levels of careall within one setting.For seniors looking for a retirement lifestyle that offers both freedom today and options for tomorrow, a Continuing Care Retirement Community may be worth considering.Landis Homes offers a community where older adults can experience the benefits of senior living while having access to a continuum of services and care. Exploring your options early can help you make an informed decision about the next chapter of your life.
As we age, staying socially connected can become just as important as staying physically active. Friendships, family relationships, community involvement, and regular social activities can bring joy and purpose to everyday life.Retirement and other life changes can sometimes reduce opportunities for social interaction. Children may live farther away, friends may move or pass away, and health or mobility changes may make it harder to participate in activities outside the home.For these reasons, finding meaningful ways to stay connected is an important part of healthy aging. Social connection can support emotional well-being, encourage an active lifestyle, and help seniors continue to feel a strong sense of belonging.Social Connection Can Help Reduce LonelinessLoneliness can affect anyone, but older adults may experience changes in their social networks as they age. Spending too much time alone can leave a senior feeling disconnected from family, friends, and the community around them.Regular social interaction provides opportunities to talk, laugh, share experiences, and simply enjoy another person's company.Even simple activities such as having coffee with a friend, eating a meal with others, attending a group activity, or taking a walk together can help a senior feel more connected.Friendships Give Seniors a Sense of BelongingFriendships remain important throughout life. Having people to talk with and share experiences with can provide comfort and companionship.Senior living communities can provide opportunities to develop new friendships while maintaining existing relationships. Shared meals, social gatherings, clubs, classes, and recreational activities give residents natural opportunities to meet people with similar interests.Making new friends can help a senior feel that they are part of a community rather than living in isolation.Social Activities Can Provide a Sense of PurposeHaving something to look forward to can make a meaningful difference in a person's daily life. Social activities give seniors opportunities to participate, contribute, and remain involved.For example, a senior might: Volunteer in the community Participate in a hobby group Attend an educational class Help organize an activity Join an exercise or walking group Enjoy music, games, or crafts with others Participate in community events These activities can provide structure while encouraging seniors to continue exploring their interests.Staying Connected Can Encourage Physical ActivitySocial interaction and physical activity often go hand in hand. Seniors may be more motivated to take a walk, attend an exercise class, or participate in an outdoor activity when they know friends will be joining them.Being active with others can make exercise more enjoyable and less like a chore.Regular movement is an important part of maintaining strength, balance, mobility, and independence as we age. Social activities that incorporate movement can provide both physical and social benefits.Social Engagement Keeps the Mind ActiveConversations, games, classes, hobbies, and other social activities can provide opportunities for seniors to think, learn, communicate, and solve problems.Trying something new or participating in a discussion with others can help keep everyday life interesting and mentally stimulating.Lifelong learning can also be an enjoyable way for older adults to meet people while exploring new interests or continuing to develop existing ones.Family Connections Remain ImportantWhile friendships and community involvement are valuable, family relationships can also provide an important source of social connection.Regular phone calls, video chats, visits, shared meals, and family activities can help seniors maintain close relationships with children, grandchildren, siblings, and other loved ones.When family members live nearby, visiting in person can be especially meaningful. When distance makes regular visits difficult, technology can help families stay connected between visits.Senior Living Communities Can Create Opportunities for ConnectionOne benefit of a senior living community is the opportunity to live among other people in a similar stage of life.Instead of having to arrange every social interaction, seniors may have activities and opportunities for connection close to home. Dining areas, common spaces, walking paths, fitness programs, educational opportunities, clubs, and community events can make socializing a natural part of daily life.Residents can choose the level of participation that feels right for them. Some may enjoy a busy schedule filled with activities, while others may prefer smaller gatherings and quiet conversations with friends.Staying Connected Can Help Seniors Maintain IndependenceSocial connection is also part of maintaining an active and fulfilling lifestyle. Seniors who remain engaged with others may be more likely to continue participating in hobbies, community activities, exercise, and other interests.Having friends and neighbors nearby can also provide an informal support network. Someone may notice when a friend isn't feeling well, offer encouragement, or simply check in after a difficult day.This sense of community can be especially valuable as circumstances change.It's Never Too Late to Build New RelationshipsSome seniors may hesitate to meet new people after moving to a new community or experiencing major changes in their lives. It can take time to feel comfortable in a new environment.Starting small can help. Saying hello to a neighbor, joining one activity, having a meal with others, or attending a class based on a personal interest can be a good first step.Over time, these small interactions can develop into meaningful friendships.How Families Can Encourage Social ConnectionFamily members can play an important role in helping an older loved one remain socially active.Consider encouraging a senior to: Stay in regular contact with family and friends Participate in activities they enjoy Explore new hobbies Attend community events Volunteer when possible Join an exercise or walking group Try a class or educational program Consider a senior living community if living alone has become isolating Most importantly, listen to what the senior wants. Social connection should be meaningful to the individual rather than simply adding more activities to their schedule.A Connected Life Can Be a Fulfilling LifeGrowing older brings many opportunities to enjoy new experiences, relationships, hobbies, and interests. Staying socially connected can help seniors maintain a sense of belonging and purpose while making everyday life more enjoyable.Whether through family, friendships, volunteering, lifelong learning, hobbies, or a senior living community, there are many ways older adults can remain connected.At Landis Homes, opportunities for community, friendship, wellness, learning, and meaningful engagement can be an important part of the senior living experience. Finding the right environment can help older adults continue living an active and connected life while building relationships and enjoying each new chapter.
Welcome to Cornwall Manor! We have been providing quality housing and health care for older adults since 1949. And while much has happened in the years since we opened our doors as The Methodist Church Home at Cornwall, one thing has not changed our commitment to compassion, excellence, and service. Cornwall Manor has been named Best Retirement Community, Best Personal Care, and Best Nursing Home for the twelfth consecutive year by the Lebanon Daily News, and our personal care facility has received numerous deficiency-free inspections. Our Skilled Nursing Health Center provides quality, resident-focused care in an environment that matches our tradition of excellence.
Welcome to Cornwall Manor! We have been providing quality housing and health care for older adults since 1949. And while much has happened in the years since we opened our doors as The Methodist Church Home at Cornwall, one thing has not changed our commitment to compassion, excellence, and service. Cornwall Manor has been named Best Retirement Community, Best Personal Care, and Best Nursing Home for the twelfth consecutive year by the Lebanon Daily News, and our personal care facility has received numerous deficiency-free inspections. Our new Health Center provides quality, resident-focused care in an environment that matches our tradition of excellence.
Welcome to Cornwall Manor! We have been providing quality housing and health care for older adults since 1949. And while much has happened in the years since we opened our doors as The Methodist Church Home at Cornwall, one thing has not changed our commitment to compassion, excellence, and service. Cornwall Manor has been named Best Retirement Community, Best Personal Care, and Best Nursing Home for the twelfth consecutive year by the Lebanon Daily News, and our personal care facility has received numerous deficiency-free inspections. Our Skilled Nursing Health Center provides quality, resident-focused care in an environment that matches our tradition of excellence.