For many of us, the holiday season is a joyful time. It’s a rare chance to get away from the hustle and bustle of daily life and spend quality time with our loved ones. But for those dealing with the loss of someone close to them, the holidays can be an especially challenging period. “Society tends to put a clock on grief,” says Pastor Gary Gibson, Director of Spiritual Care and Chaplain at Presbyterian SeniorCare Network. “Everyone goes through this process very, very differently. We must be respectful of that.” If you or someone close to you is dealing with loss this time of year, it’s important to know that the most wonderful time of the year doesn’t need to be the most difficult.
Below are five tips Pastor Gary recommends to people struggling with grief over the holidays.
1. Set realistic expectations for yourself
The holidays can be a stressful time for everyone, but they can be especially anxiety-inducing for someone dealing with loss. “It’s important to be honest with yourself about what you’re capable of doing this time of year,” Pastor Gary says. “We shouldn’t let other people determine what we should and should not do.”
2. Surround yourself with people who love and support you
This holiday season, evaluate your family’s understanding of where you are in your journey. Keep in mind that while your friends and family may not always know the right thing to say or the best way to comfort you, they are in your corner and want to help.
3. Don’t ignore your holiday traditions
While the temptation might be there, try to do everything you can to avoid canceling your holiday plans and traditions. “People will tell me they don’t want to put up the tree or hang lights outside,” Pastor Gary says. “But for most people, the person they lost loved the holidays just as much as they did. It’s important to still honor their memory.”
4. Volunteer
Whether it’s with a local food pantry, hospital, women’s shelter or The Salvation Army, helping others is a surefire way to feel better during the holidays. While the first day or two may be difficult, once you volunteer a few times, you may find yourself going back every chance you get.
5. Small progress is still progress
It could be hearing the person’s favorite Christmas song on the radio or going to a coffee shop alone, but every person who has lost a loved one deals with triggers this time of year. The important thing is to not let it prevent you from making progress each day. “Maybe the next time you go to the coffee shop, sit down and hang out for 10 or 15 minutes,” Pastor Gary says. “You may be surprised at who you might meet.”
Grief during the holidays is a battle, but with a positive mindset and the support of those around you, there is always hope. “You can do it,” Pastor Gary says. “You just need to continue to encourage yourself to put one foot in front of the other.”
Caring for the Caregiver: How Hospice Supports Family CaregiversWhen someone you love becomes seriously ill, caregiving often starts gradually.You drive them to appointments.You pick up prescriptions.You prepare meals.You help with bathing.You manage medications.You stay awake at night.Before long, you may realize that you are no longer simply helpingyou have become a full-time caregiver.And caregivers need care, too.The Hidden Weight of CaregivingFamily caregivers frequently put their own needs behind those of the person they love.They may feel guilty taking time for themselves.They may worry that asking for help means they aren't doing enough.They may feel exhausted but believe they need to keep going.These feelings are common.But caregiver burnout can affect the entire family.Hospice Supports the FamilyOne of the fundamental principles of hospice is that the patient isn't the only person receiving support.Doctors Hospice of Idaho describes hospice as supporting both patients and families, with family members involved in care and decision-making. The hospice team can help families understand what is happening, manage symptoms, address practical concerns, and navigate emotional and spiritual challenges.You Don't Have to Know How to Do EverythingFamilies are sometimes hesitant to consider hospice because they believe they should be able to handle the caregiving themselves.But hospice exists precisely because serious illness can be complicated.The hospice team can provide specialized knowledge and guidance while helping family caregivers feel more confident.The team may include: Registered nurses Physicians Social workers Chaplains Home health aides Volunteers Bereavement professionals Each member has a specific role in supporting the patient and family. Hospice Can Give Families Permission to Be Family AgainWhen caregiving becomes overwhelming, relationships can unintentionally become centered around tasks."Did you take your medication?""Did you eat?""Did you call the doctor?""Did you schedule the appointment?"Hospice can help relieve some of that burden.When professional caregivers are available to provide education, clinical support, personal care assistance, and other services, family members may have more opportunity to simply be a spouse, daughter, son, grandchild, sibling, or friend.Sometimes that means sitting together and talking.Sometimes it means watching a favorite movie.Sometimes it means holding hands.Sometimes it means simply being present.Grief Begins Before a Loved One DiesCaregivers may begin grieving long before the actual loss.They may grieve changes in their loved one's abilities, personality, independence, or future plans.Hospice professionals can help families understand and navigate these emotional changes.After the loss, Doctors Hospice of Idaho also offers bereavement support to families, including grief counseling and resources. Asking for Help Is an Act of LoveCaregiving is an expression of lovebut you don't have to do everything alone.If your loved one's illness is progressing and caregiving is becoming increasingly difficult, it may be time to learn more about hospice.Calling doesn't mean you're giving up.It means you're looking for additional support.And sometimes the best thing you can do for the person you love is make sure you have a team beside you. Doctors Hospice of Idaho is locally owned and operated and provides compassionate hospice support for patients and families throughout the communities it serves.
What Happens When You Call Hospice? Understanding the Hospice Admission ProcessCalling hospice for the first time can feel intimidating.Families often don't know what questions to ask or what happens after they make the call.Understanding the process can make the decision feel much less overwhelming.Step One: Make the CallThe hospice process generally begins with a phone call.You don't have to have all the answers before calling.Doctors Hospice of Idaho explains that referrals and questions can come from physicians, nurses, caregivers, patients, family members, friends, or neighbors. The purpose of the first conversation is to understand the situation and determine what questions need to be answered.Step Two: An Evaluation Takes PlaceAfter a referral, members of the hospice team meet with the patient and family.Doctors Hospice of Idaho explains that a registered nurse and social worker may visit the patient and family to evaluate the situation, explain hospice services, answer questions, and address concerns. The treating physician is also involved in verifying that hospice is appropriate. Step Three: The Family Gets AnswersThis is an important part of the process.Families can ask questions such as:What services does hospice provide?Where can hospice care take place?Who will be part of the hospice team?What happens if symptoms change?How does hospice support caregivers?What does hospice cost?Will insurance cover hospice?There are no "silly" questions when you're making decisions about someone's care.Step Four: A Care Plan Is DevelopedHospice care is individualized.The team works with the patient, family, and physicians to develop a plan that addresses the patient's needs and preferences.Doctors Hospice of Idaho emphasizes patient choice and family involvement in care and decision-making. How Quickly Can Hospice Begin?Families sometimes assume hospice admission takes days or weeks.Doctors Hospice of Idaho states that hospice services can generally begin within approximately four hours after referral when hospice is determined to be appropriate. The organization also describes an urgent admission option for critical situations, with a hospice team member able to respond within approximately two hours after receiving a physician's order. Because individual circumstances vary, families should contact the hospice directly to understand what can be provided in their particular situation.What If We're Already in a Crisis?Don't assume it's too late to call.Doctors Hospice of Idaho specifically emphasizes that hospice remains an option even when a family finds itself in an urgent or unexpected situation. Sometimes hospice involvement begins very close to the end of life.Even then, the hospice team can focus on comfort, symptom management, and supporting the family.Calling Hospice Doesn't Mean You Have to Know EverythingPerhaps the most important thing families should know is that they don't have to navigate the process alone.If you're wondering whether hospice is appropriate, ask questions.A conversation with a hospice professional can help you understand eligibility, services, care options, and what the next steps might look like. Doctors Hospice of Idaho is available to help families understand hospice and make informed decisions.
Hospice Is More Than End-of-Life Care: Supporting Patients and FamiliesWhen people hear the word "hospice," they often immediately think about death.While hospice does provide end-of-life care, that definition doesn't capture the entire purpose of hospice.Hospice is also about livingliving as comfortably, meaningfully, and intentionally as possible during an especially important chapter of life.Hospice Focuses on the Person, Not Just the DiagnosisA serious illness can affect every part of someone's life.Physical symptoms are only one piece of the picture.A patient may also experience: Fear Anxiety Loneliness Spiritual concerns Family stress Financial concerns Changes in independence Difficulty communicating wishes Concerns about unfinished business Doctors Hospice of Idaho describes hospice as a holistic approach that addresses physical, emotional, practical, and spiritual needs. The Hospice TeamOne of the most valuable aspects of hospice is the team approach.At Doctors Hospice of Idaho, patients and families can receive support from an interdisciplinary team that includes physicians, nurses, social workers, chaplains, home health aides, volunteers, and bereavement professionals. This allows different professionals to focus on different aspects of care.Hospice Supports Caregivers, TooFamily caregivers often put their own needs aside.They may spend months or even years helping a spouse, parent, or other loved one with medications, meals, transportation, bathing, appointments, and household responsibilities.Eventually, caregiver exhaustion can become significant.Hospice can provide education, support, personal care assistance, social and emotional resources, and respite through appropriate services.This doesn't mean the family is stepping away.It means the family doesn't have to carry the entire responsibility alone.Spiritual and Emotional SupportEnd-of-life experiences can raise profound questions.Patients and families may think about faith, relationships, forgiveness, memories, regrets, legacy, and what comes next.Hospice chaplains can provide spiritual support based on the individual's preferences and beliefs.Social workers can help with emotional and practical concerns.This whole-person approach is an important part of hospice care. Hospice Can Help Families Make MemoriesSometimes families become so focused on managing an illness that they forget to simply be together.Hospice can help shift some of that focus.Instead of every conversation being about medications, appointments, or symptoms, families may have more opportunity to talk, reminisce, laugh, listen to music, look through photographs, or simply spend time together.Those moments can become lasting memories.Hospice Continues Supporting Families After a LossThe relationship doesn't necessarily end when the patient dies.Doctors Hospice of Idaho provides bereavement support for families following a loss, including grief counseling and resources. Its bereavement program maintains contact with families for up to 13 months after the patient's death. Grief is different for everyone.Having compassionate support can help families understand that their emotions are a normal part of the grieving process.Hospice Is About Quality of LifeHospice does not erase the difficulty of a serious illness.But it can help patients and families navigate that difficult time with greater support.At Doctors Hospice of Idaho, the goal is to honor patient choices while providing compassionate care with dignity and respect. Hospice is about caring for the whole personand the people who love them.
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