Friends For Life

It started with subtle signs. You visited and noticed that the house was not being kept up as it had been before. Your once fastidious mom was wearing a top with a food stain on it and did not even notice. There was a lot of expired food in the fridge. Little signs that things were slipping. When you suggested help with driving, or cooking, or just around the house it was rebuffed. So, you backed off. But, in the back of your mind, you know the bigger event is coming. The broken bone, or bigger accident. The event that is going to disrupt everything. Yet, you have still done nothing to prepare.Caregiving tends to be a reactive sport, not a proactive one. Why? Because of egos, family dynamics and our busy lives. And also, because dealing with aging is hard. It is hard to be the child of an aging parent who can no longer take care of themselves. It is also hard to be the person aging, who now must rely on others to help them get through their day. But, how much better of an experience for everyone would it be if we just planned a little bit? If your loved one could be in on the decision making when they were well able and before they even needed it. There are so many levels of help that can be set up and so many tools of the trade that can help keep people independent, safe, and happy.So, how do you start? How do you get your mom onboard? How do you convince your siblings that something needs to be done? You start by asking for help. Ask your Doctor, or a Case Manager or a Home Care Agency. There are professionals that can help you get started, point you in the right direction, brainstorm creative solutions or help you begin those difficult conversations. The most important thing to know is that you do not have to do it alone. Creating a team of support around you and your loved one will set everyone up for the best possible outcomes. You just need to ask. Editors Note: This article was submitted by Dana Jessup, CSA, CADDCT, CDP. Dana Jessup is the owner of Friends For Life, Inc. and may be reached at 303-321- 2822 or by email at dana@friendsforlifeinc.com.

Keeping individuals with Alzheimer's Disease active stimulates their brain, brings forth moments of joy and promotes a sense of usefulness.Here are some great activities that encourage social engagement and promote self-esteem:Make use of skills that are not forgotten.From buttering bread, to drying dishes, to raking the garden, simple jobs are great for engaging someone with dementia and providing them with a sense of accomplishment and contribution.Take the person on a small trip.Even if he wont remember where he has been, the experience in the moment is what is important. But be selective about your outings and try to avoid crowded places, or having an agenda (like getting the grocery shopping done), as it may be too overwhelming.Go through old photo albums.Help them recall treasured moments from the past. Or if they are at a point in their dementia where they are unable to remember, use the photos as a starting point to tell wonderful stories. Ask them what they think is happening in the picture, rather than what they remember.Play a game or activity the person has always enjoyed.A bridge player may no longer be able to play, but may enjoy holding the cards and a simpler game like matching the suit, color or number.Garden together.If she is unable to help you, bring her outside and sit her next to you as you garden. Letting her enjoy the sunshine and look at the flowers as you garden can prove very comforting.Play sorting games.Try sorting objects like buttons or swatches of fabric by color, shape and design.Go on a walk.Exercise stimulates the brain, body and soul in all of us. No matter where they are in their disease, some form of exercise will be beneficial (for you and them!)Things for caregivers to keep in mind:Break activities down into one step at a time. For instance, fold the napkins and put them away should be delivered as fold the napkins. Then, when they are done folding, you can ask them to put them in the drawer. Dont get stuck on the rules or things being done the right way. The objective is to make the person feel involved and successful. Stay in the moment, use encouraging comments and realistic praises.And remember, it is our duty (and honor), as a caregiver, to help them achieve that sense of enjoyment and purpose, if even just for a moment.Editors Note: This article was submitted by Dana Jessup, CSA, CADDCT, CDPDana Jessup is the owner of Friends For Life, Inc. and may be reached at 303-321-2822 or byemail at dana@friendsforlifeinc.com

Studies show aging brings Contentment.  BUT, experiencing cognitive or physical decline isnt a bed of roses! Those same studies conclude that a sense of purpose prevents loneliness and can also help maintain physical well-being. Your care teams Primary Goal should be bridging caregiving with total wellness for their client i.e., mind, body and soul.   It starts with a written care plan for the aging individual the plan should begin with a Personalized Mission Statement that identifies small to big goals that bring JOY.  Goals that bring JOY can be simple - completing a walk around the house, doing a small craft or, something aspirational such as a weekly drive in the mountains or visiting the Denver art museum.  Seek JOY with your care team.Editors Note: This article was submitted Jared Kelso, CRTT, CPA.Jared Kelso is CEO & Owner of Friends for Life and may be reached at 303-321-2822 or email at jared@friendsforlifeinc.com

Being Independent Does Not Need to Mean Being AloneThere is a difference between being connected to one another and being connected to the internet. And, the more we use tools and technology to keep us efficient, the less we make personal connections and the more isolated our seniors may become.However, using tools and technology in conjunction with personal interaction is a great way to help keep your loved one safe, healthy and engaged. The first step is to have a clear understanding of where your loved one is cognitively. For issues like medication management, there are smart apps and automatically dispensing pill cases. These are great if your Mom is still able to understand and take her own pills. But, if she is just removing them from the machine to shut it up, then the technology is not helping. People with dementia may take on the immediate issue of stopping the alarm and forget the actual purpose is to take their medication. You may need to couple that smart machine with a personal visit, reminder phone call or a written note with specific instructions to actually take the pills.Online grocery shopping and delivery can help keep nutrition on track. And, having someone there to help unpack the groceries and prepare a few healthy meals is an even better way to ensure that they are eating well.Facetime and Skype are wonderful ways to connect and using memory games from advanced to basic matching is a great way to keep them engaged. But, you need to make sure that they are comfortable using the technology or that you have someone there that can help them to make the call or play the game.If you already are in the midst of caregiving, you can use tools like motion sensor lighting to help illuminate a walking path for seniors who get up at night. Better lighting helps to create a safer environment. You can also use motion sensor remote alarms that will alert a caregiver in another room that the senior has gotten up. It allows you to do more around the house and even get some rest, but remain close by when needed.Using the right tools at the right time with the right balance of personal interaction brings our seniors independence without abandonment.Editors Note: This article was submitted by Dana Jessup, CSA, CADDCT, CDP.Dana Jessup is the owner of Friends For Life, Inc. and may be reached at 303-321-2822 or by email at dana@friendsforlifeinc.com.

At 74, Sarah wakes up each morning and goes through her regular routine. Sure, her arthritis makes the first few steps painful, but she has learned how to adapt.It wasnt too long ago that she was working full time, and before that running a house full of children. Life has been full of the need to adapt, and Sarah has always conquered her new challenges.Jessie is Sarahs daughter. She lives out of town, is working and raising her family. On her last trip home, she noticed that her Mom was not getting around as easily as before and she started to worry about her being on her own.Jessie decided to get Sarah a personal emergency response system, or emergency button, in case she had a fall. It will bring you peace of mind in case something happens when you are alone, she said. But, Sarah keeps the button in her desk drawer. The idea of accidentally hitting it and having the paramedics knock down her door did not bring Sarah peace of mind, it brought on more anxiety.The things that bring peace of mind to a loved one, isnt necessarily what brings peace of mind to the senior. We all have different motivations and priorities. Understanding that when communicating will help families find a comfortable middle ground that meets everyones needs.What is it that truly brings your loved one their own peace of mind? For Sarah, it was connection to her children. Using technology to check in on her made it seem like her children wanted to use the tools instead of talking to her. It made her feel like a problem that Jessie wanted to solve. But, for her daughter, it was a way to make sure that her Mom was safe because she wasnt close by.Taking the time to talk through your own personal motivations and not projecting your feelings onto the senior will help them understand why the safety measures are important to you. Likewise, getting the senior to talk about how the help makes them feel, will allow for open communication and can ultimately lead to compromises that work for everyone.For Sarah and Jessie, they compromised that they would start each day with a quick good morning phone call as a check in, and Sarah agreed to wear the button when she was going up and down the stairs to the basement to do laundry, bringing everyone their own personal peace of mind.Editors Note: This article was submitted by Dana Jessup, CSA, CADDCT, CDP. Dana Jessup is the owner of Friends For Life, Inc. and may be reached at 303-321- 2822 or by email at dana@friendsforlifeinc.com.

1.      You are not alone.  Your caregivers and the agency office staff are now a part of your team.  Thats right, you have a team now.  You are no longer alone on this journey.  Set up your new team as an extended part of your family.  Share your insights with them and learn from the insights they garner from their time spent with your loved one.  Because these new team members dont have the same history and dynamics, you will be surprised by the different relationship they are able to form with your loved one.  2.      This is a journey give it some time.Aging is a journey, not a destination.  Allow time for the agency to find the right fit and then for those caregivers to develop relationships that will bond them to your loved one and will help make the journey smoother.  Everyone understands there are tasks to be handled, but if you have a resistant loved one, allow some time for the caregivers to build trust inside that relationship.  You will find that once trust has been built, those tasks (and so much more) can be easily accomplished.3.      Communication is the key.Good communication with your team is the key to success.  Whether is it receiving reports after every visit or setting up regular team meetings, staying in regular contact is vital to making sure this relationship is best serving you and your loved one.  Once care is put in place, the journey continues.  If you are in constant communication with your caregivers and your agency team, then you will all be able to adjust and pivot easily. Caregiving tends to be reactive, not proactive. But, with a team in place, trust built and open communication you can get ahead of changing needs and make a plan that will make the experience better for everyone. Creating a team of support around you and your loved one will set everyone up for the best possible outcomes.  Editors Note: This article was submitted by Jared Kelso. Jared Kelso is the owner of Friends For Life, Inc. and may be reached at 303-321- 2822 or by email at jared@friendsforlifeinc.com.