Washburn-McReavy Swanson Chapel

When a loved one passes away, we want to pay tribute to their life in a meaningful way. For loved ones, honoring cherished memories and accomplishments is an important part of the grieving process. This step helps commemorate their legacy in a way that feels true to their memory and the values they held. Writing a eulogy is a beautiful way to share these pivotal moments with the people that loved the departed. What is a eulogy? A eulogy is a remembrance speech that family members, close friends, or colleagues give during a funeral or memorial service. Sometimes just one person gives a eulogy at the memorial, and other times multiple people are chosen to share their memories and stories. With families and friends often traveling for a memorial service, eulogies serve as an opportunity for much-needed reflection as everyone gathers to honor a loved ones passing. Writing a eulogy is a challenging task after losing someone dear to you. Youll have to gather stories and memories to share in front of a room full of people. Remember that what makes eulogies beautiful is their opportunity to bring comfort to those family and friends who share your grief while keeping the legacy of your loved on alive. Dont feel daunted; anyone can write a great eulogy. The key is to write something genuine that comes from the heart. While there are no rules for writing a eulogy, weve put together a step-by-step guide to help you create a sincere eulogy about your loved one.How long should a eulogy be? The deep love and loss you hold for someone who has passed can feel impossible to fit into a eulogy. Most eulogies are 510 minutes long, and its a challenge to fit someones whole life story into that amount of time. Look at it as a speech meant to capture the essence of their character and their values, honoring what they contributed to this world. The best place to start is deciding what stories and memories youd like to include.Below weve included a few steps for how you can write a meaningful eulogy. What should I include in a eulogy? Every eulogy should be unique, but these topics will help you draw inspiration: A brief overview of their life, including key milestonesYour favorite memories with them, including a specific anecdote or twoDetails about their relationships with close family and friendsAny significant accomplishments related to career, interests, or hobbiesPoems, stories, or songs written by the departedFavorite words by authors or poets they admiredHow to write a meaningful eulogy for a loved oneThere is no right or wrong way to write a eulogy. If youve been chosen to deliver one, you were likely picked because of your meaningful connection to the departed and your beautiful storytelling abilities. Have confidence in yourself throughout this process and if you begin to feel nervous, rely on the memories you have with your loved one to guide you. 1. Gather memoriesFirst, create a timeline of some of their most significant life moments whether getting married, having children, details of their noteworthy career, a lifetime of travel, or their involvement and dedication to their community. Seeing a timeline of their most important life moments on paper will help you identify what stands out as worth highlighting in your eulogy.Read old letters, emails, and text messages Revisit memorabilia Return to special places that hold memoriesWatch family videos and look through old photos Try writing down all the words you would use to describe them and their personalityYou may decide to include some of these descriptors in your eulogy. Taking the time to write down what you cherished about their character and your life together will bring back specific memories about them. Family members and close friends are another source of ideas. Ask them about their favorite memories, insights into their relationship with the deceased, or places and times of the year that will always remind them of your loved one. Ask friends and family these questions for inspiration: What were some of their favorite experiences with them? Were there specific personality traits that stick out to you? Did they have a mantra, song lyric, or quote that they loved? What heartwarming stories capture the essence of them?Gathering ideas from different sources will help you identify a common thread or theme to tie the pieces of your eulogy together. 2. Write a meaningful eulogy Eulogies are typically between 510 minutes spoken, or about 7501,000 words written. When you sit down to write your first draft, write as you talk, and let the words come naturally. The most important part is to focus on how and why they were important to you; eulogies dont need to be polished and perfect. It can be helpful to step away from a first draft and revisit with a fresh pair of eyes. Share your first draft with friends or family members for their input. During your editing process, remember the focal point of your eulogy whether that be their adventurous spirit or their gift as a good listener and make sure your anecdotes and highlights help bring those traits to life.Writing a meaningful eulogy for someone dear to you can be an extremely emotional process, but also a beautiful and cathartic one. Its a chance to reflect on treasured memories from over the years and keep those memories alive even after your loved one is gone. 3. Practice with friends and family Once youve written a eulogy that youre proud of, practice it in front of friends or family. Eventually, you will need to speak the words youve written so its best to practice before the day of the memorial service. Have one of the observers time your speech so you know roughly how long it will take. Oftentimes you will speak faster than you expected so make sure you take time to breathe and slow down. After youve practiced, ask your loved ones pointed questions about the areas you think may need work. This can sound like: Did I read too fast?Was the section about her mom confusing? Is there anything youd add? Did this do the departeds life justice? Make sure you read the eulogy to someone who will give you constructive feedback so you know where to refine and make edits. 4. Edit and repeat After practicing with friends and family, make any necessary edits to your eulogy. Sometimes youll find that your writing doesn't sound the way you thought it would when you say it out loud, so its helpful to edit after reading it aloud. Make edits to the areas you were given feedback on and repeat the peer review process until you feel its ready for the memorial. The day of the memorial service The day of the memorial service can be difficult for many reasons. Saying goodbye to a loved one is hard enough, but reading a speech in front of people can also cause stress. Its important to remember that youve been chosen because youre the best person to represent their life. When speaking, make sure you take time to pause and catch your breath. Its common to speak too quickly when were nervous, but pausing and breathing will likely be perceived as natural to the audience. Take time between sentences and paragraphs so people can reflect on what youve said before rushing to the next point. Dont let fear overcome the love you shared with the departed. After working hard on your eulogy, you are ready to read it aloud.  Contact Washburn-McReavy Chapels for more information at 612-377-2203 or visit www.washburn-mcreavy.com