Submitted By: Arden Courts Sarasota, CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION!My parents were solid, middle-class wage earners who later devoted their free time to cleaning the church and sitting on the non-profit board of a local housing authority. When not with their grandchildren, they spent their remaining months and years serving communion to the infirmed and working the Election Day polls. In their small community, they experienced the immediate impact they could make by donating their time and energy to a good cause. There has never been a greater opportunity to give of our resources, whether they are based on money, our gifts, or our time. How can we know what kind of mark we leave behind on each other and on our communities?Giving of OurselvesAs a caregiver for my mother over a six-year-period, she and I often struggled through her more difficult transitions from one phase of memory loss to another. There also existed many beautiful moments when I felt grounded in her presence, connected to humanity.We all experience this shiver of unexpected, good tidings when we help someone with their groceries. When we give directions to someone who is confused and upset. Last week, dropping off dinner for my husband working overnight, a woman called out to me in the parking garage. Her temples rose in alarm while she tried to find the hospitals visitor entrance which had been shifted due to new protocols. Speaking over the heavy rain, I pulled her underneath my umbrella as she told me her mother had been hospitalized for heart surgery. She thanked me for the gift of cover. But she had given me the gift in trusting I was the right person to hold her story and the umbrella.After my mother died, I missed my time with her. It had given me purpose and grounded me in a way my other volunteer work of serving on boards for our city's performance hall or a writing center had not. In my giving, I try to return to that moment of care, of that magic when your work is the key to opening a heart. Giving is Living According to the National Institute on Aging's study, American's Changing Lives, which has followed a population of adults since 1986 to research social, psychological, and behavioral factors in health, there's such thing as a helpers high. Much like the runners high, when an athlete experiences a sense of euphoria as their endorphins are released into the body, a similar action occurs when we give. Individuals who volunteered their time experienced lower rates of depression and blood pressure, and lower rates of heart disease. For Tristen Inagaki, a neuroscientist at San Diego State University who studies our caregiving systems, she's not surprised that more kindness translates to better well-being. Humans are extremely social, we have better health when we are interconnected, and part of being interconnected is giving, she says.My parents and others of their generation understood the value of aiding a friend. In a period when we have all been isolated and are feeling the depression of winter or additional shutdowns, reaching out to help is one sure way through this darkness. The next generation is finding other ways. The Next Generation of GivingFor this next age group of givers, known as Generation Impact, the pandemic accelerated their push into a new kind of giving. They are louder with their money. Were learning, that's what a lot of this is for us, Joe Malcoun, an Ann Arbor philanthropist, said, noting he and his wife are relatively new donors who founded a venture to back restaurants during their shutdowns. There's a massive overlap coming of social and political issues, and contributions affecting social issues. That intersection is very important. Their generation wants to be more vocal than the quieter work of handing out supplies at the food pantry or delivering meals to seniors who live at home. They want to ensure we eradicate food insecurity, no matter the poverty level or living situation.For whatever reason, our generation is very much trying to find a way to live our values, says Joe.We each have our reasons for giving. My parents gave back to a small town that supported their business and their children. I gave back to my mother who cared for my son while I was a single mom. And for those outside our neighborhood or circle of care who have been unseen in the past, technology and new ways of thinking allow us to give globally while also caring for those close to home.Annette Januzzi Wick is a writer, speaker, and author of I will Have Some of Your's, a journey of cookies and caregiving(Three Arch Press)and is a recipient of a 2020 NSNC award. A frequent contributor toCincinnati.com, her work has appeared in Cincinnati Magazine, nextavenue.com, Shanti Arts, 3rd Act Magazine, and others. Visit annettejwick.com to learn more.

Article Submitted By, Arden Courts of Sarasota, for more information, CLICK HERE!THE SHAPE OF OUR STORIES AND WORDS ARE KEYS TO KEEPING OUR MEMORY.As a writer, I am fascinated by studies which evaluate writing content and styles and point us toward information we might not know about ourselves. Its like looking into the Magic 8-Ball to predict our future, only the ball is a piece of paper.I wrote the first draft of this article by hand with a few caveats. In ninth grade, I adopted a calligraphy-like writing style for a history project. My penmanship was altered again as a computer science major in college by using graph paper. Nowadays, anyone reading my writing will notices a mix of looping cursive and boxy print. When writing by hand, I mostly correct my spelling errors. Using a computer, I rarely stop to correct grammar knowing the software will redline it for me to fix later.What would any of this tell experts about my prospects for developing dementia as I aged?The Nun StudyAt the age of 14, Sister Mary (alias) entered the School Sisters of Notre Dame in Baltimore, and by 19, she had taken her vows. She taught English to middle-school students and took classes toward receiving her high school diploma. Sister Mary taught full-time until age 77 and retired at 84.In her later years, the University of Kentucky approached Sister Mary and other nuns about a study related to Alzheimer's and the importance of donating their brains to neurological science. Nuns were an ideal control group because they shared the same environment, health and fitness regimen. As part of the study, Sister Mary had been constantly tested on eight focal areas to assess memory, concentration, language, visuospatial ability, and orientation to time and place. She consistently scored well within normal ranges.As part of the broader study, researcher David Snowden reviewed personal essays each nun had written upon acceptance. One wrote, Now I am wandering about in Doves Lane waiting, yet only three more weeks, to follow in the footprints of my Spouse, bound to Him by the Holy Vows of Poverty, Chastity and Obedience. Another was a lister who wrote, I prefer teaching music to any other profession. Those whose writing styles portrayed a richer sense of grammar, imagination and emotion, such as the first writer, were less impacted by dementia than those who wrote in a more simplistic style.Did the higher cognitive functioning come first, and therefore dictate what kind of writing style one might have proffered? And can one postpone the effects of memory loss through the continual development, even at that age, of writing styles? These are the questions scientists continue to ask.Writing and Reading as We AgeWe are often amazed by writers who author books into their old age. Margaret Atwood is still productive at age 81. Agatha Christie died at 86 but wrote until her end. At 97, Herman Wouk wrote The Lawgiver, and Toni Morrison published God Help the Child at age 84.In Changing Minds, a book that examines the correlation between language and aging, Roger Kreuz and Richard Roberts found seniors in a living community used an average vocabulary of 21,000 words, while an average college student might only utilize 16,000 words, proving language mastery is a lifelong journey and learning does'nt necessarily end with school.Other studies show we can prolong our lives and cognitive functioning by keeping a journal and reading fiction as a noted by the Yale University School of Public Health. People who read books for at least 30 minutes a day lived, on average, nearly two years longer than nonreaders. And at present, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) is conducting a study into whether foreign language learning, which utilizes higher cognitive functioning, can also contribute to an increase in lifespan.It turns out, age is not the sole factor in determining our reading abilities, writing capabilities and learning. Yet, our reading, writing and learning can help extend our age.More about HandwritingAccording to results published in The Lancet Journal for Clinical Medicine, a group of 80 men and women in their 70s, all cognitively normal, took part in a Framington Heart Study where they were administered a writing test before any had developed Alzheimer's.Subjects described a drawing of a boy standing on an unsteady stool and reaching for a cookie jar on a high shelf while a woman, her back to him, is oblivious to an overflowing sink.Their language was analyzed by artificial intelligence to predict who would be more likely to develop Alzheimer's or dementia. Those that utilized repetitive words, made more grammatical or spelling errors where a subject, article, or verb was missing were categorized in a group where eight years later, they were impacted by Alzheimer's disease. Based on the writings, the program had predicted with 75% accuracy who would develop cognitive impairment.Aging and MeMy fathers chicken scratch was well-documented in our household. However, he was the storyteller and remembered details of long-forgotten events before succumbing to Parkinson's. My mothers handwriting was precise and was told she held her pen too tight. She was also a list maker, yet despite her dementia, she still read the headlines from magazine or newspapers I brought her. Whatever remained intact was a result of her reading and my reciting poetry aloud to her. The experts might have had difficulty predicting the outcomes of my parents.As for me, my first draft of this article contained multiple spelling errors. With the luxury of knowing I would correct that, I tried simply to evoke a thought.Every day, I push myself little more. Books from the library multiply like rabbits in my study. At age 55, after writing two memoirs, generating several volumes of poetry hidden in my files, and writing countless essays and articles, Im attempting to craft a second work of fiction. After reading conclusions of researchers, I fully expect this volume to keep my mind sharp.Annette Januzzi Wick is a writer, speaker and author of Ill Have Some of Yours: What my mother taught me about dementia, cookies, music, the outside, and her life inside a care home (Three Arch Press), available online, and is a recipient of a 2020 National Society of Newspaper Columnists award. Visit annettejwick.com to learn more.

Recently, my younger sister received mail for my older sister for whom she is the guardian. The mail contained a check based on dividends my disabled sister had been receiving over the past ten years. Her former employer had been unable to locate her. During this discovery, I researched websites for unclaimed funds in several states. There were numerous accounts held in her name. While none of those amounts might cover the costs of her care, every penny still counts.Something similar occurred following the death of my first husband, as well as my father. There were electric company accounts with deposits. An old dental bill that had been overpaid. Given the transient nature of our society - young adults transplant themselves frequently, aging parents move to remain close to their children, middle aged adults move to retire - its not surprising. As caregivers, we can continue to support our loved ones through following up on opportunities to grow the funding for our loved ones care.Money Tips for CaregiversBelow is a list of money tips for caregivers, culled from tips offered by Fulton Bank, with branches in the Northeastern U.S. and other personal experiences:Inventory everything. Before computers came into existence, my father kept a yellow legal pad with an ongoing inventory of bank accounts, the names of legal and financial representation, and insurance contracts. He made it easy for me to locate the necessary information when the time came. Ive done the same thing, with names, addresses, and now email contacts for individuals who represent my interests. I only wished he would have specified what to do with his beloved Murano glass collection. Lucky for me, I came into the possession of a few more than my share.Review credit card statements, create bill payment plans. A consistent review of credit card statements and other incoming mail will provide an apt picture of your loved ones financial situation. When the son of another set of aging adults we help care for discovered his parents were overdue on their credit card payments, a long conversation ensued. Their children formulated a payment plan to wipe out that debt and ease some of their financial burden which had been causing undue strain on their health. Sometimes, we wind up in a situation which might cause embarrassment without realizing its impact on our well-being.Count on your community. There are a wide variety of options in local communities designed to support the aging of a loved one. These supports might come in the way of counseling, a free day of respite caregiving, training, and other free programming that gives caregivers confidence in their duties.Consider how managing someone elses money might impact your finances. Named as the POA for both my parents, I understood their financial picture. Their long-term care policy had lapsed. Retirement savings had dwindled. My father was prescient in his purchase of insurance policies, yet if both parents remained in their current state, financial instability would set in. In a position to help offset their costs, I promised my father they would receive the best care I could offer if their savings ran out. He died without knowing if that was possible. His insurance policy allowed for my mother to reside in a care home until her death.  There are always hidden costs to caring. We want to provide for our parents in the same way they provided for us. Financial counselors and social workers can provide caregivers with professional guidance on how to balance managing ones own money while managing someone elses care. The creation of two budgets will provide a solid picture of both, and help caregivers envision their lives as separate.Our loved ones have life experiences which contribute positively or negatively to their bottom line. My parents helped to care for grandchildren and took out loans on their insurance policies to cover college costs of their children. At one point, my father feared he was upside on an insurance policy. He kept that fact hidden for a long time, worried over how he might pay it back. I might argue that stress was a precursor to his Parkinsons. In the end, he finally did confess. We contacted a lawyer who worked through the issue. When the policy was sold to another insurance carrier, there had been a processing error. He was so relieved. We were too.Annette Januzzi Wick is a writer, speaker, and author of Ill Have Some of Yours, a journey of cookies and caregiving. (Three Arch Press). A frequent contributor to Cincinnati.com, her work has appeared in Cincinnati Magazine, nextavenue.com, Still Point Arts, 3rd Act Magazine, Ovunque Siamo, Belt Magazine and Creative Nonfiction (both forthcoming). Visit annettejwick.com to learn more.

Article submitted by, Arden Courts of Sarasota, for more information, CLICK HERE!Can We Think Ourselves Young?My parents were born in the same month of the same year, 1928, and married each other at the age of 33. Afterward, my mother gave birth to five children. Discreet in revealing her age, she often hid her drivers license from us. I was astonished to discover her real age when I was fourteen. She and my father were ten years older than my friends parents. It was then my fathers consistent refrain, I wish I were ten years younger, made sense. Its something we all wish for.But research says we don't need to occupy ourselves with our physical age to feel a sense of youthfulness. There are other ways to think ourselves back in time.A Throwback to the 1950sIn 1979, Harvard University psychologist Ellen Langer, asked a group of 70 and 80-year-old men to take several cognitive tests prior to and after a weeklong monastic retreat. The dcor and surroundings had been calibrated to match the late 1950s era, including magazines on coffee tables and television shows available for viewing. Participants were told to live as if it were 1959 and write a biography of themselves using the present tense. Cultural or political events could only be discussed from that perspective too. A week later, a second round of participants undertook the same journey, only they were told to reminisce, to write in the past tense about their life in 1959. After the retreat, in the first group, 63% made a significant gain on the cognitive tests, compared to just 44% in the control condition. Their vision became sharper, their joints more flexible and their hands more dexterous, as some of the inflammation from their arthritis receded. Those who were told to exist for a time as their younger selves felt younger in their bodies too.According to Ellen, she wanted to refute how old age is taken to be a one-way street to incapacitation. Many of those studies, appearing later in her books, Mindfulness and The Science of Positivity also showed when participants were offered a reason or motivation to engage in everyday activities, such a taking care of a house plant or creating personal relationships with researchers, they suffered less memory loss.There were others who also set out to demonstrate how positivity influences our physical well-being as we age.No defeatist attitudesIn 1975, researchers initiated the Ohio Longitudinal Study of Aging and Retirement by examining over 1000 participants. Becca Levy, at the Yale School of Public Health, has been mining that data for clues to our aging mindsets.When a participant entered the study at age 63, they were asked their views to rate their impressions of the statement as you get older, you are less useful. In the study, Levy found the average person with a more positive attitude lived on for 22.6 years after the study commenced, while the average person with poorer interpretations of aging survived for just 15 years.Too many times, we give in to our bodies or society's perception, and decide our aging prevents us from learning a new language, moving to a different locale, or even learning to surf. Levy found those kinds of views, held by people as young as 30 can predict whether they are at risk for cardiovascular disease decades later. Those with negative impressions of aging tended to also have higher systolic blood pressure, which increases inflammation and raises the risk of health issues later.How Can We Recalibrate?James Cromwell, an American actor, age 82, still protests for animal rights and maintains empathy for our most vulnerable. To me, I'm 19. I still make the same 19-year-old mistakes. Hopefully, not as many. Those same dreams and desires still inform everything that I do. In his new film, Never Too Late, James plays a Vietnam veteran housed in a retirement home. Recruiting his old unit, he plans to escape and reunite with his lost love. Interviewed by the Independent, he states the film reminds us you have everything taken away. Unless you give something back to yourself. You're still alive, you're still learning. You can still contribute. You can still make a difference. You can still inspire. What else is there?My youngest sister was born when my mother turned 42. After giving birth, she was told by my grandmother, Your child will be a blessing in your old age. We had many nicknames for our baby sister that invoked her zaniness. But her antics kept my parents feeling young. She lived closest to my parents, was first to give birth to a grandchild for whom my father doted on like his own son, and she always included them in her life.How do we recalibrate our mindset? Writing in the present tense about an age wed like to revert to. Maintaining our engagements and responsibilities to loved ones and to society. Making mistakes while we continually reimagine our lives. Or, in the words of the famed poet, Dylan Thomas, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.Annette Januzzi Wick is a writer, speaker, and author of I'll Have Some of Yours, a journey of cookies and caregiving(Three Arch Press)and is a recipient of a 2020 NSNC award. A frequent contributor toCincinnati.com, her work has appeared in Grief Becomes You, Before the Diagnosis, Cincinnati Magazine, nextavenue.com, Shanti Arts, 3rd Act Magazine, and others. Visit annettejwick.com to learn more.

Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD) is often misdiagnosed as a psychiatric disorder or Alzheimers disease. Signs and symptoms vary depending on what section of the brain is being affected.FTD is a disease which causes progressive damage to the temporal and/or frontal lobes of the brain. The disorder also may be referred to as frontotemporal lobar degeneration (FTLD) or Picks disease. Most people living with this disease will endure dramatic changes in their personality, becoming impulsive or emotionally indifferent. Sometimes, they eventually lose the ability to use and understand language.The lack of language skills is a highly devastating symptom, often coinciding with social withdrawal. Naturally, this leaves the person hiding in a shell of solitude. Many may develop what is known as Primary Progressive Aphasia (PPA). This symptom usually starts developing around the second year of the disease. With this type of dementia, you may not see the characteristic of memory loss as you would with Alzheimers disease. Instead, you may first notice a persons inability to concentrate and extreme changes in such a persons behavior. This often misleads many physicians into believing their patients are experiencing psychiatric problems.Here are a few signs of FTD to be aware of:Loss of empathyLack of judgmentApathyObsessive-compulsive behaviorDecline in personal hygieneChange in eating habitsSpeech and language problemsThis disease onset typically strikes people between the ages of 50s and 60s. But according to the Association for Frontotemporal Degeneration (AFTD), it has been seen as early as 21 years old and as late as 80 years. Roughly 60% of the cases are between 45-64 years of age.Problems may also occur with motor skills, similar to those of Parkinsons disease or Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) also known as Lou Gehrigs disease. This disease attacks the frontal or temporal lobes (possibly both) of the brain, creating those sections to wither or shrink.Recently, I had a phone conversation with a woman whose husband, at the age of 62, has been diagnosed with FTD. She said that his doctor initially diagnosed him with depression. Soon after, he was dismissed from his job for many years due to a lack of concentration. The doctors have told her that disease has now progressed into the latter stages.As he is now experiencing hallucinations, I genuinely feel for her. One thing which amazed me is her husband tells her that he thinks something is wrong behind his forehead. Because of his loss of language skills, he now only speaks to her or to close family members. This behavior appears on the surface as being unsociable, but it is a symptom of the disease.There are so many different types of dementia in existence. However, the thing they all have in common is they are all extremely difficult to diagnose. The earlier the patient does get appropriately diagnosed, the better they can genuinely be cared for.For more information on FTD, please visit the Association for Frontotemporal Degenerations website which is www.theaftd.org.Gary Joseph LeBlancEducation DirectorDementia Spotlight Foundation

And finally, April is National Occupational Therapy Month. When you talk about a better quality of life, occupational therapists are right there on the front lines. From helping people with disabilities to helping people overcome illness or injury, they help individuals live full, productive lives. Their holistic approach helps people to adjust to injury or illness and improve their ability to perform daily activities and regain skills to live a healthier life. Thank an occupational therapist this month for all they do to help people think and be healthy. 

As we get older our bodies become much more susceptible to dehydration and heat-related illnesses. This is due, in large part, to a number of characteristics brought about by aging. One such characteristic is that thirst sensations diminish over the years, inhibiting the ability of people to recognize when they are nearing dehydration and allowing for a serious loss of water from the body. Also, the aging body loses the ability to cool itself at a rapid pace like it could when it was younger. This fact is especially dangerous because sometimes older adults do not feel drastic rises or drops in heat levels, which means they could feel fine even when the weather is too hot. This could result in dehydration, heat cramps, heat exhaustion or even heat stroke because of the bodys inability to effectively cool itself at an efficient rate. Another characteristic includes the thinning of the skin in older adults. As the skin gets thinner, it provides less protection against the harshness of the suns rays.During the warm summer months, the desire to be outside consumes much of the general public. This yearning for the sun results in numerous positive physical benefits as long as certain safety precautions are followed. Although the sun provides the body with essential nutrients like Vitamin D, it can be very dangerous if the body is overexposed. This is true especially in older adults. When the temperature hits the low 90s, the heat can be a serious health risk for everyone, especially those people over the age of 65.TAKE PRECAUTIONSHealth issues resulting from the sun can be avoided if a number of simple, but important safety measures are taken:Stay indoors as much as possible during the late morning and afternoon hours.If you exercise outdoors, make sure to do so during the cooler hours of the dayearly morning and evening. Also, make sure to consult your physician before starting an exercise routine.It is extremely important to stay hydrated so drink a lot of water and other fluids throughout the day even if you are not thirsty.Stay away from alcoholic beverages or those that contain caffeine, as they can increase the risk of dehydration. Sports drinks are good because they can help restore important salts and nutrients into your body and fight dehydration.Try to stay in the air conditioning if at all possible. If you do not have air conditioning, consider going to places that do like the mall, library, grocery store or movie theater. *If you go outside, wear a hat that can help shield your face from the sun. Also, wear sunglasses and sunscreen with SPF 15 or higher.Do not wear heavy or dark clothing.Do not do any heavy lifting or other laborious tasks during the hotter parts of the day.If you cannot stay in the air conditioning during the hot hours of the day, try taking cool baths and showers to keep your body temperature at a normal level.Do not eat large meals. Try eating smaller meals in shorter time intervals.Make sure to consult your physician to see how much time you should spend in the sun each day.

Recently, my husband and I combined a trip to see the red rocks of Utah with a weekend for our sons wedding in the Wasatch Mountains. We had long heard about Arches National Park and Canyonlands. We could visit both places at once.During that week, we were also granted enough time to explore another range, the Uinta Mountains, before the wedding. When we returned home, I made a mental note. Our weekend walks in the city would now include ventures to the areas forested regions too.What draws us to paths and trails in nature, and does it help keep our bodies healthy and brains intact?Accessibility and BenefitsUnlike skiing or fishing, hiking for a few hours requires little in the way of equipment, given some knowledge of the area. With the rising popularity of the AllTrails app, an app that became more prominent during the pandemic, finding trails near your home, and in proximity to your skill level, is as easy as downloading a free version of the app.All it takes is a good pair of walking shoes, a bottle of water, a few nutrition bars, and you are off.Once I began using AllTrails, the entire state of Ohio beckoned me to hike. I used the app wherever I traveled, and easily discovered new trails to explore. When I demonstrated the use of the app to my sister, one of my walking companions when were in the same town, she was surprised by how many hikes existed near her in the Cleveland Metroparks.Not only do we benefit from the fresh air, but also from the calming nature of trees and streams. And, to follow a map or trail requires brain activity. I have always loved maps, ever since my parents ordered AAA Triptiks for every vacation. The kids fought to sit up front with our parents (when that was allowed) and check off the stops. One felt in charge when they knew the location of the next restroom stop. However, we also learned how to navigate highways and byways through this effort, and our fathers insistence on retrieving a map to plot our routes wherever we were planning to drive.If we are on a path long enough, we allow our minds to wander while simultaneously watching where we step. Recently, a friend of mine with a repetitive injury to the leg, began hiking instead of taking daily walks in her neighborhood. When I asked why the change, she mentioned how the nature of hiking required us to be intentional every step of the way. The paths are sometimes rocky, go up and down, and can often be slippery. By watching each step, we become aware of what dangers are in front of us, have a sense of direction further along the trail, and remain in the moment focused on the task.Luckily for us, while in the Utah mountains, I also learned that, according to the Health Fitness Revolution, Altitude is king when it comes to losing weight! And the sweetest thing about this cardio workout? Trails are typically easier on your joints than concrete or blacktop would be for running and walking, so your knees and ankles will seriously thank you after your trek.The overall benefits to hiking are plenty, including burning calories and keeping your heart fit. On any hill, consistent breathing is not only a side benefit, but necessary, especially when it comes to altitude.If youre not happy while hiking, dont tell the researchers who published a study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science. The findings reveal individuals who walk in nature are less likely to be depressed. The participants in the test walked for 1 hours in nature and demonstrated less activity in that part of the brain related to depression than participants who walked in city areas bustling with traffic.In the Midwest, the leaves are just starting to change color. Before winter settles in, we have time to get fit, be intentional, discover a few new paths outside our usual routes, and find a little bit of happiness on the trail.Annette Januzzi Wick is a writer, speaker, and author of Ill Have Some of Yours, a journey of cookies and caregiving. (Three Arch Press). A frequent contributor to Cincinnati.com, her work has appeared in Cincinnati Magazine, nextavenue.com, Still Point Arts, 3rd Act Magazine, Ovunque Siamo, Belt Magazine and Creative Nonfiction (both forthcoming). Visit annettejwick.com to learn more.

In my estimation, there are no other diseases which can tear a family apart faster than Alzheimers and other dementia-related diseases.The reason for this may be due to the need of extensive and lengthy care necessary to keep your loved one safe. When he or she reaches the moderate stage of dementia and beyond, which in some circumstances may come faster than we hoped, they honestly should not be left alone.The number one complaint I hear is, Im the only one in the family whos doing anything to help. More often than not this is an accurate statement. Everything is falling upon Marys shoulders. What the rest of the family is missing is that Mary is falling apart.It is very difficult to describe to the general public the hardships and stress caregivers truly endure.Theres a 24-hour-a-day, inescapable weight of self-doubt which follows caregivers wherever they go. Am I doing enough? Am I doing it right? At the same time caregivers are experiencing this mental anguish, theyre doing everything possible not to lose their patience with the loved one they are caring for.Unfortunately, very few of the rarely seen kinfolks realize this. What usually makes matter worse is their interference in the late stage of the disease adds even more confusion and anxiety to the caregiver who has been there 24/7 for possibly many years. Statements are made such as, How did she end up on hospice? How did it get to this point? It makes you want to scream, Well maybe if youve been here the last few years, youd know these answers.Sadly, this is where lawyers usually appear on the scene.  One of the most common arguments brought to the table is, I dont believe they were competent at the time they made you Power of Attorney. Often these are the same people that, from a distance, thought everything was going just fine.Heres a very important piece of advice for you. Right before Power of Attorney, last will in testament or any other legal binding contracts are being created, have your loved ones doctor write a letter stating your loved one is competent at that time. This is known as a letter of competency. Have your elder law attorney keep this document in their files. In fact, it is recommended to have two doctors write a letter.The last thing a caregiver needs when come to the end of this exhausting campaign is to end up in court with his or her own family.Deplorably, having these arguments in court happens every day everywhere. I have seen this disease tear families so far apart that they never mend. Keeping all your legal and financial matters protected may prevent these difficult situations from happening to you. A letter of competency may be the most powerful document in your file cabinet.